


The Beauty of Finally

by Gadhar



Series: Two Lessons in the Art of Distraction [1]
Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 03:26:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4690403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gadhar/pseuds/Gadhar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's too fucking pretty for his own good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Beauty of Finally

**Author's Note:**

> I got my train of thought back pretty quickly, ha. Shout out to friend I just texted for half an hour who made life better without realizing it. Gotta love people like that.

It’s not like this is the first time they’ve ever been on the other side of the job. Granted, it’s a rare thing to be the rescuee instead of rescuer but it’s not entirely unheard of and Barney is nothing but grateful for that. 

But then of course, for all the dozens of times they were the rescuers, there’s always that one time where they were, in fact, the victims of some wild ass scheme and if it just so happens that Christmas tends to be at the center of those occurrences, swearing a blue streak and strapped to a chair, or handcuffed to a radiator, then it’s just because he’s the pretty one.

In fact, Barney would go as far to say that it is always Lee because he is the fucking prettiest among them and he means that in an _entirely platonic manner._

Gunner may have the Swedish model dimensions but the years of drug abuse have pretty much trashed anything he ever had in the looks department; Yin’s generally too antisocial; Toll’s personality alone keeps them all miles away; and while Caesar may be the closest in giving Lee a run for his money, he generally only appeals to a certain type because he’s just too _big_ for everyone else. 

And if Lee’s the right side of the spectrum then Barney’s definitely somewhere on the left and that’s all he’ll say on the matter.

So, as he said, for Lee to be the center of attention when it comes to the bad guys, especially the creepy ones, it’s not surprising. 

What _is_ a bit surprising is kicking down the door to reveal their target—master slave trader that he is—looming over Lee who’s bare-chested and panting like he’s done some form of the horizontal tango and Barney actually fucking freezes because he’s aroused, pissed, disturbed and utterly confused all at once and to be honest he’s really not built to feel, much less handle, that kind emotional range.

Then there’s that shallow wash of jealousy that sort of rides in after the flood of everything else but Barney pretends it’s not there and eventually—after Caesar’s blown away half the room and they’ve got the guy hogtied on the floor—it goes away. 

***

He’s said it before, he’ll say it again. Lee’s too pretty for his own good.

Barney can admit, he’s glad that this is more of a domestic situation and not a national security on the line type of situation but he hates fucking grocery stores and he really doesn’t need to see this girl stumbling over herself trying to ring up his items because she won’t even fucking look at her hands because she’s too busy eyefucking the Brit in a too-tight-white-shirt who’s too busy eyefucking the Cheez-its to even notice and Barney’s just over here not eyefucking anything and he can’t decide whether he should be mad or disappointed.

In the end, he goes with mad because fuck grocery stores and fuck the cashier girl and most importantly fuck Lee and his stupid Cheez-its because Barney didn’t actually need to shop but somehow Lee convinced him to go and now he’s stuck in the cab of the truck with Lee moaning for all his worth over his damn junk food and Barney just wants to smash his head against the windshield. 

***

He thinks about the day they kicked down that door to find a shirtless panting Lee tied to a chair and it keeps him up at night.

Barney doesn’t know why he thinks about it. Why that particular mission, that particular moment of it, sticks in his mind so vibrantly but it does and he’s not really sure how to get himself to not think about it.

He doesn’t want to think about it. 

Not like that at least.

Wait. _What the fuck does that mean?_

***

It’s a gay bar.

An actual fucking gay bar in actual fucking France and they actually sent fucking Lee down there in barely there short-shorts and a strip of clothing that somehow passes for a shirt and Barney’s as nauseous as he is panicked and he hasn’t been able to get his heart rate down to normal in the two hours they’ve been watching from the building across the street.

They’re actually watching their target’s right hand man so that they can locate the actual target and it’s a well-known, but not mentioned fact, that Lee has a little bit of experience in strip clubs and that’s why he’s the one doing this but for all that Barney wishes that Caesar would’ve gone. Even fucking Gunner would have been better but then, Barney’s not sure his eyes could handle that. 

They stopped asking about Lee’s ‘experience’ after he nearly beat Gunner to death with a telephone that one time but that doesn’t stop them all for thinking about it or being the first to suggest him for any type of undercover mission of this sort.

Not that the Expendables are often put in positions where they have to go to bars, gay or not, but when they are, Lee’s the first name on the list.

He’d probably be the first one anyway, what with the looks and all, but at least this way, Barney can’t let his own feelings get in the way because Lee’s experience is a good enough argument by itself that Barney can’t even try to fight it.

He’s thankful for that because when he says ‘feelings’ he’s not even sure what he really means, all he knows is what he’s been saying for years.

Lee’s too pretty for his own good.

***

Lee starts dating this girl:

Lacy.

Barney hates that name, hates everything about it; the sound, the spelling.

She’s 5’7” of typical good girl looks and Barney wants to do nothing more but set her hair on fire.

Or something.

He doesn’t really understand the desire or the motivation behind it.

But Lee’s dating this girl and he smiles when he talks about her and he told Barney they met at some stupid place like a Wal-Mart or a Home Depot, but the way he tells it he makes it like they met in some fantastical way like she was some damsel in distress that he rescued from the trunk of his car and they had some romantic but life-saving escape from an explosion by swimming in a lake and—

It sounds like a fucking movie to Barney, is all. But really it was like the sock aisle of Target or some shit and Barney hates the way Lee drawls out ‘darling’ when he talks to her on the phone. 

She’s bad news. Barney knows it. Call it a gut feeling. 

All he can say is he’s not surprised Tool calls him at 2 in the morning because Lee’s passed out on the bar top drunk after Lacy dumped him. 

***

He lets Lee sleep it off in his bed because he knows from experience that if you can’t wake up in your own bed after getting shit-faced, the next best thing is to wake up in _a_ bed with a trash can close by.

Barney’s provided both, along with water, aspirin and food whenever Lee thinks he can walk again. 

In the meantime, Barney sits by the bed in the old rocker his dad made and reads out of Morrell’s _First Blood_ until the memories get to be too much and then he just watches Lee’s face for a while before drifting off in a chair he knows is going to leave him with a crick in his neck though he can’t seem to bring himself to care.

***

Everybody thought it was Luna. 

It makes sense really, because as much as guys like them want a girl they can protect, they want a girl who can protect herself too and if she can run and play with the big boys as well then more power to her.

Add on top that she had the pretty hair and the boobs and the ass and really it makes sense that everyone thought it was Luna.

And maybe it is her, a little, but it’s not all her and Barney’s pretty sure he’s the only one that notices. 

Because for every look Galgo throws Luna’s way, he gives Lee at least two more and there might even be some looks in there for Barney but if that’s the case, Barney might just have to call Galgo desperate instead of blaming Lee’s obvious attractiveness. 

But they’re sitting in the bar and Barney’s late because he hit the storm coming in on his bike and he’s not stupid enough to ride in that shit, but as he stands near the swinging doors, dragging his fingers through slick hair, all he sees is Lee hunched over a beer and Galgo practically _on_ him.

Not drunkenly leaning on him, but like full on in Lee’s space with the barest paper width of space between his lips and Lee’s ears and Gaglo’s talking a mile a minute and Lee looks ready to flip and Barney—

He turns around and walks right back the fuck out into the rain, damn his hair and damn the storm. He texts Lee some bullshit about not riding in the rain and tells himself he’s only angry on Lee’s behalf because anybody would feel the same sympathy irritation over someone invading someone else’s space.

He’d feel the same if it was Galgo all over Trench.

***

So he’s been lying to himself. It’s not really a shock because he’s been doing it for years and he’s always been pretty good at it but not this time. And Barney doesn’t know really what to say or how to defend himself because in the end it takes Lee drunkenly fucking Galgo for Barney to get his head on right.

It wasn’t fucking though, not really. Because it was all fumbling hands and lips and he really only saw what he would guess was the tail end of the whole interaction but they didn’t fuck.

At least he has some stupid little hope that they didn’t and that’s not really something he understands either. 

Point is, Barney’s been lying to himself and it’s not until he walks to Lee’s place in the middle of the night after a particularly tough mission and sees Galgo on his knees, fingers tracing Lee’s abs as he blows him, that it really sinks in that he may sort of kind of feel something for his best friend and it’s been going on for a while and he’s royally fucking screwed and not at all in the way that he wants as he stares from the doorway like some sort of creep.

He never thought that the most conflicting moment in his life would be whether or not he was glad to have Lee’s key so that he can so easily gain entrance and at the same time be a semi-unfortunate witness to such private moments as this.

And he says semi-unfortunate only because it’s been awhile and it’s Lee and he’s so fucking _pretty_ —blushing like a fucking virgin with his eyes lidded and his mouth open and that same heaving chest that caught Barney’s attention so long ago—that Barney’s hard as hell and he stands there for god knows how long, watching, until he just has to disappear back into the dark shadows of the hallway, jerking off in the corner to the sound of Lee’s muffled groans as he comes on the other side of the wall.

He’s been saying Lee’s too pretty for his own good and, maybe it’s true, but if anything he’s far too pretty for Barney’s own good.

***

There’s this dull ache in his hand from punching the wall earlier and he’s distantly aware of it just like he’s distantly aware that his face feels hot and sticky because he’s been crying but overwhelmingly all he feels is this suffocating emptiness that makes him want to claw his chest open. 

He fucked up so bad. Almost got his whole team killed. 

He should be digging his own fucking grave right now, having a nice little chat with the grim reaper, but instead he’s sitting at Lee’s bedside.

Tool has been keeping an eye on the other guys for him. 

The kids are fine, having been only the support team this go-around. But the older guys, _Barney’s guys,_ are in various stages of fucked up and laid up and Barney doesn’t know whether he should shoot himself or just walk outside and let a fucking 18-wheeler do the job. 

Yin crashed the copter, Gunner got caught in some assbackward explosion, Caesar and Toll took a header off the roof and Lee…

Fucking Lee. 

Fucking Lee and his fucking SAS past and his fucking ghosts from the past. 

Lee was who they wanted. Some political statement against the British government for past grievances. 

Lee was the one they beat the shit out of. The one they tried to cut to pieces. 

Lee’s the one that may not make it through the night.

_He ain’t so pretty anymore._

***

He’s fucking _gorgeous—_

Eyes wide with lust, squirming under Barney’s touch; flush riding his shoulders, and the fucking _sounds—_

So fucking _beautiful—_

Curled against Barney’s side, practically swimming in a sweater two sizes too big, hands wrapped around _“real fucking English tea”_ , eyes losing their battle with sleep—

Fucking _stunning—_

Shirtless in loose pants and moving through his routines on the floor of Barney’s bedroom, sweat slick on his skin, face stoic and focused—

Fucking pretty—

Eye bright with laughter, mouth wide and grinning, the way the years shed off his face. The way he says Barney’s name when they fist bump—

Fucking _amazing—_

Standing at the sink in Barney’s sweats and Barney’s old tee, washing the dishes, only the slightest hitch in his movement from still healing bruises, mouthing off about why healthy food is good and all but sometimes you just need a good bag of chemicals and artificial cheese—

Fucking _perfect—_

Wrapped in Barney’s arms, breath soft on Barney’s chest, relaxed, calm, barest hint of a smile on his lips—

So fucking pretty to Barney’s eyes. To Barney’s luck. 

The kind of pretty that’s nothing but good for Barney.


End file.
